“Imposter Syndrome” – sounds like something from a bad spy movie, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately it’s a lot sneakier, more prevalent, and a whole lot more destructive than any movie plot. Also something I’ve been struggling with for most of my life, long before I ever heard the term. One of the saddest things I discovered about Imposter Syndrome is that people like me, who are still struggling with it, can unsuspectingly pass it on to our children, setting them up for a lifetime of self-doubt and missed opportunities. The only daughter of an ambitious mother, moderately clever in a family of very intelligent people, I remember a lot of pressure to “achieve”. For my family that meant academics and getting a “good” job (regular hours, better wage than Dad). My parents thought they were encouraging my siblings and I to do our best, to meet our potential, by saying “that was ok, but why didn’t you do better?” I guess my siblings understood, but I heard it as saying I never measured up, was never quite good enough. Eventually I started telling myself the same thing.

This inner commentary was the start of Imposter Syndrome. When I accomplished something, I dismissed it as ‘luck’ or ‘no big deal’; when I failed it was all my fault – even when it wasn’t. Needless to say, my self-confidence was shaky at best. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you ignore all the good parts. Feeling like I didn’t deserve recognition made it very difficult to write a helpful resume or CV, let alone interview well. I’ve lost count how many times I talked myself out of applying for a better job, or a raise, or any kind of opportunity, because I downplayed my skills. I contributed a lot to my own money problems over the years by not pursuing the opportunities and rewards my efforts deserved. In regards to to financial literacy, Imposter Syndrome often clouded my understanding of my own financial potential. It’s crucial to identify and challenge self-limiting beliefs that hinder us from making informed decisions about our skills and worth in the job market. Recognizing your true value is the first step towards better financial outcomes.

Imposter Syndrome also led me to set impossible standards for myself, calling myself “stupid”, “lazy”, and “fraud” when I inevitably crashed. I often over-committed in an attempt to feel I was contributing enough to hide my supposed failings. Trying to hide my self-doubt behind the perfect employee/volunteer/partner/friend turned out destructive to not only me, but also to bosses, supervisors, and other relationships. My need to prove myself to myself led me to cheerfully raising my hand at any call for help (one group I’m in even has a term for this: helium hand) often without first considering how much time, energy, material and financial resources I had available. This is where financial resilience became key. Learning to set boundaries and assess the cost/benefit of commitments helped prevent burnout and created a stable foundation for resilience. Embracing financial resilience means saying ‘no’ when necessary to protect your long-term wellbeing.

Since Imposter Syndrome led me to doubt my own worth, I often doubt my own judgment too. So I’m prey to bad advice, manipulative people, and both misplaced trust and unwarranted skepticism. I especially have trouble making (or believing I’m making?) good money choices. It’s expensive to have Imposter Syndrome, when self-sabotage, self-doubt, and inability to correctly assess my own abilities and accomplishments all get together to scupper so many chances to improve my life. Long-term finanial planning turned out to be an empowering tool in overcoming these issues. By creating a clear roadmap for my financial goals, I was able to counteract the doubts caused by Imposter Syndrome. A structured plan provides clarity, reduces impulsivity, and fosters a sense of accomplishment as I achieve milestones.

Many years of therapy and reflection has helped quiet that disparaging little voice in the back of my mind. Deliberately building new habits of financial resilience, goals and boundaries, and objective measures of accomplishment has dramatically improved my financial and personal situation. I still have a long way to go, but I’m getting there!

Here’s the inspirational takeaway: every step towards overcoming Imposter Syndrome is a step towards
empowerment. By recognizing your worth and capabilities, you’re not just changing your life but also
breaking cycles of self-doubt for future generations. Empower yourself to be the example of resilience and confidence you want others to emulate.