I lost someone very close to me about two years ago. It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I didn’t know how sick she was until it was too late. She was diagnosed with stage 4 anal cancer.

I received a phone call while at work that my mom was being taken to the hospital. Without even thinking, I told my supervisor I had to leave due to a family emergency. When I arrived, I found her in the emergency room. It was painful to see her in so much distress, and at that moment, I had no idea how severe her condition was. Once they got her into a room, they performed a CT scan and other examinations.

The results came back, and the doctors informed us that she needed emergency surgery. She was placed into a medically induced coma and moved into the ICU. The next 48 hours were crucial.
Then, I got another call—this time from her doctor—saying that all immediate family members needed to come to the hospital to discuss her options. That’s when they told us she had stage 4 cancer, and her organs were starting to fail. My siblings turned to me to make the impossible decision: whether or not to take her off life support. After making that choice, they told us she would most likely pass away within 48 hours. To my surprise, she fought for four days longer than they expected.

It was the hardest week of my life. Constantly going to the hospital, trying to make medical decisions while grieving, all while my siblings struggled to agree on anything. Then, at 1:40 a.m., I received the phone call that shattered my world—she was gone. My best friend, my mother, would no longer be there for any of my milestones or life events.

Losing my mom changed everything, but I recognize now how much harder this experience could have been if we hadn’t been financially stable. 

The medical costs, hospital stays, emergency surgery, and ICU care were overwhelming, even with insurance. If my family had been struggling financially, these bills could have left us drowning in medical debt, forcing us to make difficult choices—not just about my mother’s care, but about our own survival.

Even after she passed, expenses continued to pile up: funeral costs, legal paperwork, and time off work to grieve. Without financial planning, families in situations like mine could lose their homes, struggle to afford basic necessities, or delay their grieving process because they’re too consumed by financial stress.

I was a mess for a while after her death, trying to navigate life without her. Going from talking to her every day, multiple times a day, to never hearing her voice again was heartbreaking. But because we had financial resources, I was able to focus on healing instead of wondering how to afford the next bill. I had an amazing support system in place, and they helped me overcome my loss by reminding me that she’ll always be with me—even if not physically, then spiritually. I still have moments where I break down and cry because I miss her, but I’ve also learned just how much I am capable of on my own.

This experience reinforced the importance of financial literacy and long-term planning. Having savings, insurance, and a plan in place can make an impossible situation a little bit more bearable. It’s easy to assume everything will work out until you’re in crisis, but medical emergencies don’t wait for financial stability.

My mom’s passing also changed my relationships with my family for the better. It reminded us how fragile life is and why preparing for the unexpected—both emotionally and financially—is one of the greatest gifts we can give those we love.